Lazy Strikers?

Apparently, League Ones most prolific strike-force - our very own Tresor Kandol and Jermaine Beckford - are lazy, leaving defenders with 'nothing to mark' as they 'just walk around a bit'

Yes, these are the accusations from none other than... Wait for it... Tommy Elphick!

"Who?" I hear you cry. Well, he's only Brighton and Hove Albions centre-back, and he's been taking time out to give an interview for his local paper (fishermans weekly, I think it's called) in which he first declares Kandol and Becks 'lazy,' before contradicting himself completely and declaring Leeds' front two, 'fast and very strong!'

The brighter than average defender's full interview is as follows; "They aren't the liveliest, which is where, as a defender, you are at your most vulnerable. You haven't got anything to mark a lot of the time because they are lazy and they walk around a lot.

"Actually lazy is the wrong word, they're cute. They try to switch you off as you saw with the goal. We switched off and they pounced on the rebound. They're very quick and very strong."

Now, I'm no footballing expert. Just an average fan, that loves nothing more than to see one of his teams lazy strikers picking up on comical defensive errors to give his team a somewhat undeserved away victory, but I do like to think i have a little knowledge of how the game works, and also some common sense. So, Tommy, here's my suggestion to you; Rather than attempting to mock other players, (especially one that's just scored against you) why don't you focus on not leaving your team 'vulnerable' and try not to 'switch off' whilst doing the job you're most probably paid a six-figure salary for!

...And who said footballers had no brains?